I regret to inform you that IBJDPCNTHE* Local #412 is now offizially on strike.
We are demanding the following:
To not have to wash Mister Ronald Weasley's pants any more
A dental plan
Some of my House-Elf brutherz and sisterz have yet to join the IBJDPCNTHE, and I encourage them to do so today! Stand up for what'z right! United we stand, divided we fall!
* International Brutherhud of Jazz Dancerz, Pastry Chefs, Nuklear Technicians, and House-Elvez.
Dobby haz been a bad house-elf!
Dobby iz sorry for not paying more attenshun to the kitchenz, and Dobby iz especially sorry about the incident with the beetlez in the pumpkin jooz. It wun't happen again, Dobby can promiz!
All Dobby can say is, Dobby haz been very addicted to reeding the Prinz of Quidditch comik bukz, and now that Dobby haz finally finished them all, Dobby iz ironing Dobby'z handz and getting back to work.
No more beetlez!
And Winky, pleaz stop writing your sick storiez about the Quidditch playerz! They are just gud frendz!
Winky, oh, Winky
Winky all my life.
If something hadn't snatched poor Winky
Dobby-a had her for his wife
Winky'z gone, one more round
Haz anyone seen her???
Miss Brown, could you please contact your Uncle William to see if he can do anything about the interwebs? The staff is in a collective state of exhaustion from taking shifts on the Firechat Help Lines. I believe they have offered every possible solution that they have, yet our interwebs are still broken. The parchment crisis was a very difficult adjustment for us all to make, and now I fear that continued interweb sharing will result in even more conflict and difficulty. Please, Miss Brown, he is our only hope.
Dobby iz wondering if the internets will be fixed soon? My work iz suffering because I have to keep checking the e-mail, and it iz almost never for me, and sometimez iz about things like pork swords, which Dobby iz very scared of! And trunchunz! And maybe other weapons Dobby used to hear notmasturanymor Malfoy talk about!
Pleeze stop soon!
I've been seeing too much of Dobby and Mr. Filch's faces, and not nearly enough of yours, love.
Feel like dropping by?
Right, so after spending THE BETTER PORTION OF MY DAY ON HOLD LISTENING TO "MURTLAP LOVE", WAITING FOR THE TECHNICAL SUPPORT FIRECHAT PEOPLE, I MANAGED TO GET THROUGH ONLY TO HAVE THE PLEASURE OF HOLDING SOME MORE WHILE THEY ATTEMPTED TO DIAGNOSE THE PROBLEM. THERE WAS MUCH DEBATE WHETHER IT IS A HARDWARE OR A SOFTWARE ISSUE. AT LAST THE TECHNICIAN SAID THAT HE WOULD NEED TO TRANSFER ME TO A DIFFERENT DEPARTMENT. FINE. AFTER ANOTHER LENGTHY HOLD SESSION WITH NO FEWER THAN THREE MORE RENDITIONS OF "MURTLAP LOVE", I FINALLY ENDED UP TRYING TO CONVERSE WITH A MAN WHO HAD ABSOLUTELY NO GRASP OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. BLOODY OUTSOURCING. THE FELLOW FINALLY REALISED THAT HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT HE WAS DOING AND HE HAD HIS SUPERVISOR SPEAK TO ME. THIS CHAP EXPLAINED THAT WARRANTY WORK HAD TO BE HANDLED BY A DIFFERENT DEPARTMENT AND HE TRANSFERRED ME THERE. I WAS ON HOLD WITH THEM FOR ANOTHER HOUR AND FORTY-SEVEN MINUTES (AND TWO MORE "MURTLAP LOVES" LATER), ONLY TO HAVE THEIR SERVICE PICK UP TO ANNOUNCE THAT THEY HAD JUST CLOSED AND WE WOULD HAVE TO CONTACT THEM ON MONDAY.
Remmie, love, are you about? I really need a whisky and a hot bubble bath.
Does anybody know what "platform" we are supposed to be on?
I'm on the Firechat Technical Support Line, and I told him that the Hogwarts Express leaves from Platform 9 3/4. He is still laughing.
Dobby haz gotten a jurnal! Dobby is a free elf becauz of Harry Potter! Dobby rememberz Harry Potters kindnes. Dobby haz gotten many soks from admirers and would like to give one to Harry Potter! Dobby haz hurd notmasturanymor Draco saying it iz a good thing for teenaj boyz to have!
Dobby also knows to stay away frum the curtainz. Dobby iz a good elf! It shuld not be him to go in everywon says!
Dobby likes hearing Dobbys name!